The weekly writing challenge is supposed to get you thinking, and to get you writing. It doesn’t have to be brilliant, and you can post under a pseudonym if you want/need to. Let’s just have some fun with words.
In 250 words or less, write a letter of complaint to the Superhero council about the fact that the power you were assigned is pathetic.
The weekly writing challenge is supposed to get you thinking, and to get you writing. It doesn’t have to be brilliant, and you can post under a pseudonym if you want/need to. Let’s just have some fun with words. Write a piece of rhyming poetry about an object you use every day. Here’s mine: I… Continue Reading
This thing i think is strange at heart
I move it ’round to different spots
It points the way across the page
Or anything I’d like displayed
The strangest part about this thing
is on its back a kind of string
Like a tail that moves about
This thing I use it is a mouse
Dear Sirs (and I assume you are all MEN for reasons that will be obvious in the letter below),
I am writing to you in nothing less than fury. There are two reasons for my anger.
1) Not only is the costume I was assigned skimpy, at best, but the top can barely contain my assets – a fact that makes actual crime-fighting close to impossible. Clearly the designer was much more concerned with appearance than practicality and despite the fact that female superheroes have been complaining about costume malfunctions for YEARS nothing has been done.
2) When I volunteered for genetic manipulation, I made the fair assumption that I would be acquiring a superpower, one that would help me help humankind. However, the sexist Supers Board saw fit to assign me only the ability to tell if spaghetti is cooked. Pasta superpowers are not helping humankind, and, in fact, are barely supererior to the methods I used previous to the manipulation process.
I believe both of these issues reflect the sexist slant of the Supers Board and I demand that all superpower assignments be re-evaluated and reassigned. The current situation is ridiculous, and is not fulfilling our mandate as helpers of humankind.
Yours truly,
Lady Nemesis
Ooops, that was me – Christine – above. I appeared to be signed in under the general account today.
Dear Superhero Council:
I am writing in support of Lady Nemisis’ letter, and to add some complaints of my own.
She is absolutely right about the costume top. Personally, it has been made even more problematic by MY particular genetic mutation. Seriously, Triple D breasts do nothing to assist me, in spite of your assurances that they would act as airbags. I think we know who the REAL airbags are here.
Oh, and another thing about the costume. If you are going to make me run in four inch spiked heels, why didn’t you give me the ability not to get shin splints or bunions. Let’s talk about useful, please.
On top of all that, my superpower “Gaydar” is working perfectly, but until Ricky was and Tom is willing to come out of the closet, it isn’t very useful, and just makes me look like a gossip. Thank goodness for the bit of cash I make off the Enquirer: it pays for the podiatrist.
Yours truly
Cougar Woman
To whom it may concern,
I humbly write this letter in regards to the maybe not so obvious error you have made in assigning me my superpowers. Although I can see the perspective, that some on the council may find it amusing that I have been assigned the power that I was. Personally speaking, it was quite the letdown.
I had so looked forward to receiving my superpowers. I was hoping for speed, to fly, or maybe even some Spidey sense but what I received has sent my life in a different direction. The so-called superpower I received “the ability to quickly look up numbers in a phone book” is quite useless.
The only moniker I can think of to use is Phonebook Man and apparently that has been copyrighted already. I have contacted the company that owns the naming rights and they do not wish to negotiate. Beyond that with the advent of canada411.com most people can get a number almost as quickly. I mean, really. Do you not like me or something?
Quite honestly, the only productive thing I have done with said superpower was at a party last weekend. I was quite the hit until a friend showed up with a karaoke machine.
In light of these circumstances I kindly ask you to reconsider my assignment of superpowers at your next convening of the Superhero council. Heck, I’ll take anything… magical powers to grill cheese sandwiches, training wheels in my ankles for when I’m rollerblading, I’m pretty easy to get along with. Thanks for taking my request under consideration and if you need to contact me my number is in the book.
Sincerely,
A Superhero looking for a new identity
Think of how retarded the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.